It is Well

Lately, the Lord has really been speaking to my heart. Here's what He has been saying.

As you probably know, and you are probably tired of hearing about it, working has been rough for me. It is really hard for me to get up in the morning and leave my little boy at home knowing I wont be with him that day. I feel like I am missing out on so much of his little life and his growth. There are many days I just cry thinking about it because it really does make me so sad. I know some moms say - I would never want to stay home, but that just isnt me. I would LOVE so much to be home with my little man.

The Lord has reminded me many times over the last few weeks that he works out things for "good" for me. Where I am at, meaning working, is exactly where He wants me. Although it isnt necessarily where I would choose now, I know that He has a plan for me and there is a reason He has me working. I have also realized that I have been a little selfish. Many people in the US would die to have a job and I have one and here I am complaining about it. So thank you Lord for my job, the opportunity to work and help provide for my family, and for forgiving me for being selfish.

Dont get me wrong, it is still hard for me to work everyday and leave him. If I had my choice, I would choose to work from home and still be financially secure by working from home. But the fact is, that isnt where God has me and I am learning to accept it and realize that His plan is PERFECT! Even though I dont understand or know His plan, He has me where I am for a reason and that reason is not to upset me. It is GOOD for me! I am thankful for that! I accept it!

I read this morning in Jesus Calling this: "I am above all things: your problems, your pain, and the swirling events in this ever changing world. When you behold my Face, you rise above circumstances and rest with Me in heavenly realms. This is the way of Peace, living in the Light of My Presence. I guarantee that you will always have problems in this life, but they must not become your focus. When you feel yourself sinking in the sea of circumstances, say "Help me, Jesus!" and I will draw you back to Me. If you have to say that a thousand times daily, don't be discouraged. I know your weakness, and I meet you in that very place."

Hello! Was that written just for me?? I think so! I dont believe its a mistake I read that today. I really needed those words. So instead of focusing on the fact that I am not a stay-at-home mom, I am really going to work on focusing on God's blessings and just Him!

The verse that go with this were Ephesians 2:6 and Matthew 14:28-32. Both great verses but Matthew really spoke to me. It says "Then Peter called to him, "Lord if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water." "Yes, come," Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted. Jesus IMMEDIATELY reached out and grabbed him. "You have so little faith," Jesus said. "Why did you doubt me?" When they climbed back in the boat, the wind stopped."

I capitalized immediately because that word hit me this morning. Even through Peter's doubt and questioning towards God, he IMMEDIATELY reached for him. He didnt think about, didnt say Peter we need to talk first, didnt say Peter ask me to forgive you first. Nothing. It was immediate! I think about a time Brody was sitting in my lap and arched backwards and started falling backwards. I IMMEDIATELY reached for him. No thought, no questioning, it was INSTANT! I wanted to make sure he didnt hit his head. That is what Jesus did. IMMEDIATELY reached for Peter. He IMMEDIATELY reaches for me when I call. Even through my selfishness and questioning Him and His plan and wondering why He hasnt allowed me to stay home, the instant I call for Him He reaches for me. WOW! Now that is one great God I serve. Thank you Lord for looking past my faults and reaching for me anyway!! Thank you for not holding my selfishness against me. I am sorry Lord and I am so thankful you look past my faults and always reach out your hand for me anyways! I love you Lord!

So, I type all of this to say, It is well with my soul. I know God has a purpose and plan for my life and the life of my family. I choose to accept it and accept where He has me right now in my life. I know it is a perfect plan and I choose to enjoy it and live life now with what the Lord has blessed my family with. Maybe one day I can stay home, but I am no longer going to live everyday wishing I was home and miss the blessings of God.

It is well.

Kar

Randomness called "Karlee's head"

Well, my thoughts are kind of everywhere this month. Therefore my blog will kind of be everywhere! Aaron and I will be talking and I will say something "random" and he will say, "where in the world did that come from?" My mind goes a million miles a minute from one thing to the next. Here is a little look :)

I am really learning how to be a Mary this month. Here is the passage that keeps coming to my mind over and over.

Luke 10:38-42

38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home.39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught.

40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!

42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

You see I am very much a Martha! I like to have a clean house and be organized and have laundry done and all the good things that come along with taking care of a house. This month I have learned, yes those are important but not as important as time with my wonderful husband and my precious baby boy. It is a hard thing for me to get used to but I am. So, if you come to my house, you might find dirty dishes in the sink, or laundry in the laundry room, or a bed that is unmade, or a bathroom counter that isnt spotless, but you WILL find me laughing and tickling my little boy, talking to my husband, and enjoying my little family. You will find me doing the important things in life - time with my boys.

I posted a note to facebook about prayer. How I was going to pray more for people. I really have this month. It is such a joy. The peace that Jesus brings when you pray to Him is so great. (This is in no way to brag that I pray a lot but to show my Jesus off) I have had the privilege (anytime I get to go to the Father on behalf of someone else its a privilege) of prayer for sick people, for sick babies, for marriages, for healing, for peace, for direction, for changes in hearts, for youth, for financial issues, for school, and many things. I have gotten to see some of these prayers answered and some not. BUT I know God hears them all. If you have anything you would like prayer for, please let me know. I want to lift you up to our Lord.

I am enjoying my little boy so much and watching him grow! Here is a little of what he is doing: talking up a storm, grabbing and eating his feet, almost putting his paci in his mouth by himself, laughing, almost sitting up on his own, reaching for toys, sleeping through the night without swaddle, and growing like a weed! He is almost 16 pounds! I never knew I could love a little boy as much as I love him! Being a mom is one of the greatest blessing I have ever had!!

Working is really hard for me. I know people say that it gets better and I guess it has. I dont cry everyday when I leave him and I dont cry at work but I miss him so terribly much all day. It makes me so sad when I see stay at home moms pictures on facebook of their days - going to the store, play dates, picnics with their kids, etc. I am missing out on all of that and it breaks my heart. I broke down yesterday. I cried all the way home and until Brody got home with Aaron and some after he was home. I cannot even really explain how much I want to work from home. Right now, I have not been able to do that. Maybe one day the Lord will bless us in that way and allow me to work from home and still make the income that we need for our financial stability. Praying at least!

Sometimes I just stare at Brody. I want to soak in every second I have with him because I know it will go by so fast!!! I try to enjoy each and every second with him before he is going off to college!

I love my husband. He is so supportive and such a good daddy! I am so lucky to have him in my life!

I have been doing some more pictures. I have not been doing a ton simply because I dont have a ton of extra time and the extra time I do have, I want to spend with my family. It is hard though because I love doing pictures but I also love that time with my little family.

There is a look into the randomness of my mind this month! Have a great day!

Resolution Progress

Well, I cannot believe the first month of 2012 is over!!! It went by slow but fast....weird how time does that!

Well here is how I did on my resolutions:

1) Get closer to God! This is the most important to me! B+

I feel like I am reading the BIble more and praying more but I could still improve!

2) Read the whole Bible. I have tried doing this several times but have not succeeded - I hope to this year! C

I am working on this with the 1 year Bible but I am already behind...im trying to catch up!

3) Go on 1 date a month with my husband and be intentional about growing our relationship. A+

We went on our January date! We went to Los Cucos, got a Chick-Fil-A shake, and Best Buy! I surprised him with an iPad 2! :)

4) Run a 5K without stopping - I am doing Couch to 5K to try and accomplish this! A-

Aaron and I have been doing really well with our couch to 5k! Im working on it!

5) Get more organized and stay organized!!! I feel like I have always been somewhat organized. Since Brody has come we just have so MUCH stuff. I want to get rid of a lot and declutter and organize. I mean like labeled tubs the works! This will be a slow work in progress but I will get there! C+

I have organized some things but i just dont have a ton of time to do a whole lot!

6) Lose the last 7-9 pounds of baby weight. This is hard since I am breastfeeding but I hope to! F

I havent lost any weight in Jan. I actually have gained - boo

7) Encourage at least 1 person a week. B+

I am trying hard to do this!

8) Send more mail. F

I sent no mail this month :(

9) Save as much money as possible!B+

I feel like we saved more than we did last month! Improvement!

10) Read 10 books. I usually read 4-5, so I am doubling it this year! A++

I have already read 2 and working on my 3rd and its only Feb 1st!

11) Be more open and honest about my feelings. I tend to keep them to myself sometimes. B+

I am really working on this and getting better but still need work.

12) Pray more and listen more when I pray!!! A+

I am praying way more than I was and it is awesome!! Love talking to God!

13) Worry less! B-

I am worrying less but still too much! The Bible says dont worry about ANYTHING!

14) Keep track of Brody's growth and changes in pictures.C+

Not doing great on pictures this month - i forget :(

15) Journal to Brody more. C+

I havent done much journaling this month :(

So there you have it. My resolutions 1 month in