It is Well

Lately, the Lord has really been speaking to my heart. Here's what He has been saying.

As you probably know, and you are probably tired of hearing about it, working has been rough for me. It is really hard for me to get up in the morning and leave my little boy at home knowing I wont be with him that day. I feel like I am missing out on so much of his little life and his growth. There are many days I just cry thinking about it because it really does make me so sad. I know some moms say - I would never want to stay home, but that just isnt me. I would LOVE so much to be home with my little man.

The Lord has reminded me many times over the last few weeks that he works out things for "good" for me. Where I am at, meaning working, is exactly where He wants me. Although it isnt necessarily where I would choose now, I know that He has a plan for me and there is a reason He has me working. I have also realized that I have been a little selfish. Many people in the US would die to have a job and I have one and here I am complaining about it. So thank you Lord for my job, the opportunity to work and help provide for my family, and for forgiving me for being selfish.

Dont get me wrong, it is still hard for me to work everyday and leave him. If I had my choice, I would choose to work from home and still be financially secure by working from home. But the fact is, that isnt where God has me and I am learning to accept it and realize that His plan is PERFECT! Even though I dont understand or know His plan, He has me where I am for a reason and that reason is not to upset me. It is GOOD for me! I am thankful for that! I accept it!

I read this morning in Jesus Calling this: "I am above all things: your problems, your pain, and the swirling events in this ever changing world. When you behold my Face, you rise above circumstances and rest with Me in heavenly realms. This is the way of Peace, living in the Light of My Presence. I guarantee that you will always have problems in this life, but they must not become your focus. When you feel yourself sinking in the sea of circumstances, say "Help me, Jesus!" and I will draw you back to Me. If you have to say that a thousand times daily, don't be discouraged. I know your weakness, and I meet you in that very place."

Hello! Was that written just for me?? I think so! I dont believe its a mistake I read that today. I really needed those words. So instead of focusing on the fact that I am not a stay-at-home mom, I am really going to work on focusing on God's blessings and just Him!

The verse that go with this were Ephesians 2:6 and Matthew 14:28-32. Both great verses but Matthew really spoke to me. It says "Then Peter called to him, "Lord if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water." "Yes, come," Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted. Jesus IMMEDIATELY reached out and grabbed him. "You have so little faith," Jesus said. "Why did you doubt me?" When they climbed back in the boat, the wind stopped."

I capitalized immediately because that word hit me this morning. Even through Peter's doubt and questioning towards God, he IMMEDIATELY reached for him. He didnt think about, didnt say Peter we need to talk first, didnt say Peter ask me to forgive you first. Nothing. It was immediate! I think about a time Brody was sitting in my lap and arched backwards and started falling backwards. I IMMEDIATELY reached for him. No thought, no questioning, it was INSTANT! I wanted to make sure he didnt hit his head. That is what Jesus did. IMMEDIATELY reached for Peter. He IMMEDIATELY reaches for me when I call. Even through my selfishness and questioning Him and His plan and wondering why He hasnt allowed me to stay home, the instant I call for Him He reaches for me. WOW! Now that is one great God I serve. Thank you Lord for looking past my faults and reaching for me anyway!! Thank you for not holding my selfishness against me. I am sorry Lord and I am so thankful you look past my faults and always reach out your hand for me anyways! I love you Lord!

So, I type all of this to say, It is well with my soul. I know God has a purpose and plan for my life and the life of my family. I choose to accept it and accept where He has me right now in my life. I know it is a perfect plan and I choose to enjoy it and live life now with what the Lord has blessed my family with. Maybe one day I can stay home, but I am no longer going to live everyday wishing I was home and miss the blessings of God.

It is well.

Kar